Stay-At-Home Mum

from x99elledge

There are times when I think that being a stay-at-home mum is the most difficult job in the world. These are times when I am feeling sorry for myself as I do yet another round of washing-up and laundry as I listen to my children fighting over a toy in the next room.

I fantasise about how wonderful it would be to forget about it all for 8 hours a day and do a job where I am appreciated and rewarded. I imagine having a real pay check at the end of the month, about helping other people and gaining experience in my career.

But then I take a deep breath and I look at my life. Would I really have it any other way? I made the choice to have children and it was also my choice to stay at home to look after them. Sometimes it wears me down, but I know that this time is very special for all of us.

Soon my children will be old enough to do most things without me. They won’t need me to dress them, feed them, brush their teeth, read them stories at night, comfort them when they fall over, watch them dancing to their favourite music and praise them.

So I have to remind myself that this time is limited, and to enjoy all the small magical moments that happen during the day. Children are such a gift, and if I haven’t achieved anything else this decade, I have nurtured and cared for and loved two great kids who are growing up to be great adults.

But the truth is the reality of being a stay-at-home is very different from what most women imagine. Housework is a thankless task; never finished and never appreciated. As a new mum there are many pressures from family and society to do things perfectly, even though everything is new and challenging.

Looking as if you are coping with your new life when well meaning family and friends come to visit is a stress I remember. I told myself that if I coped with a full-time high pressure job, then surely I must be able to cope with a little baby! I didn’t imagine that the sleep deprivation could hit me so hard.

Waking up every 3 hours to feed baby, week after week really does accumulate and make me one grumpy mum.

But in the end, no one is perfect, and your mother, aunt, cousin and friends have all gone through the same situation and if they love you will not judge you for not getting around to vacuuming or finishing the dishes before they arrive.

Be easy on yourself, and enjoy all the wonders your baby brings to your world. The dishes can wait! Just watching your baby trying to roll over, or exploring her feet, can make your day a rewarding one, and make you forget all the sacrifices you have made to have this child.